Hiidoku

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
spongebobssquarepants
regencyduchess

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

deutschemark

(x)

wolf-peaches

I’m dead at his face in the last one like “Did you even try?”

aletolover

And then when he gets pushed he’s like “Wait no let him try!”

morepopcornplease

his composure is just everything I aspire to be

thosedarnwindsors

OMG IT’S BACK!

minimiddletons

CHARLES IS THE BEST OMG

realityofroyals

Like how he stands there as if, “Okay, I’ll be perfectly still and we’ll see if you can hit me this time. Come on, it is like I’m giving you a head start.” He’s more annoyed with his cuff link than the wanna be assassin.

duchess-of-aquitaine

FOREVER REBLOGGING THIS.

atomictiki

THIS is how you deal with terrorists

Even if you go down you did it with dignity.

jasoncanty01

You all do know who his mother is right? You know the woman who stayed home during the bombing of London and drove Jeeps in WW2. They are trained to be final boss overlord level composed at age 2.

atomictiki

U don’t fuck with the Queen

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qbnaith

His sister, Princess Anne, was the victim of an attempted kidnapping. The guy pointed a gun at her and told her to get out her car. She replied: “Not bloody likely.” And tried to kick him.

ugly
luckydreaming

Are fedoras really that bad?

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YES YES THEY ARE

onceuponakhaleesi

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

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I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

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Right..?

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The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

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I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

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Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

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WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

jamesbleach

wait, does that mean?

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oh boy…….

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usedtobehmc

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Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

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Observe…

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rootbeersweetheart

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

coffeeandcursewords

This post is immaculate

mobians-and-emeralds

It can’t be true.

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And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

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I must test it.

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Nothing happening so far…

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strampunch

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HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

pokemon-chick-1personalblog

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What in the world?

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Oh why not? This should be interesting.

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Here we go!

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Were all mad here in Underland!

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What the hell! Never Again!

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… Actually …

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One more time.

combthecombel

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Alright, I gotta try this!

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Can’t be that bad!


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….

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…oh my god…

verityglasses

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

fairytail-angel

This is one of my favourite things to look at

strampunch

holy shit this stuff is back

oliviasblogisawesome

The Gravity Falls one though

fairylightshowell

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i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

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here goes nothin-

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w HAT THE

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DID I JUST-

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WHAT THE FUCK

spongebobssquarepants
writing-prompt-s

You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.

kittenwiskers

Case: #273402
Status: Disastrous.

I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying!
I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed.
Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster.
I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again.
“I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and…
She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me.
“Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do.
The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside.
I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own.
Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out.
“What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face.
“If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him.
As Francis runs from the room he soils himself.
I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.”
Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.

bi-est-witch-of-middleearth

WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER

gabbyzvolt25

Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.